Tu B'av: Bask in the Love

This article first appeared in our July/Aug '25 edition of The Bulletin

Tu B’Av: Friday, August 8 - Sunday, August 9

On the surface, Tu B’Av is the Jewish holiday of love. Something like a Sadie Hawkins dance meets Valentine’s Day without the pagan rituals or awkward teenage coming of age moments.

This holiday is celebrated in Israel and is a popular day to get engaged or married. This holiday is supposed to be a time where women can ask men to marry them. While we don’t necessarily need a holiday for this anymore, the sentiment behind it is important. Gender matters, but each gender identity is capable of everything another gender identity is capable of. While no one knows how old this holiday is, it’s pretty progressive stuff for an ancient holiday first mentioned in the Mishnah (3rd century CE).

In addition, this holiday is a celebration of intermarriage. Traditionally, this holiday marks the time when, according to the Talmud (3rd-6th c. CE), Jews from different tribes could marry one another. There was previously a ban on this due to warring between the tribes, especially the tribe of Benjamin with everyone else. It seems that even the rabbis realized that “love is love.”

The Torah shares so many examples of intermarriage within the 12 tribes and between the 12 tribes and other tribes. It seems natural that this holiday, a holiday celebrating love over anything else, unites us, even centering on what sometimes most divides us.

So, tell your partner you love them, go on a date, ask someone out, or talk to your kids about what love means to YOU. Talk about your engagement, watch your wedding video, and bask in the love.

A blessing for Tu B'av

Blessed are you, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, in whose great wisdom created us in their image and likeness. Just as God needs love, we need love.